My brain says no but my pants say off.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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