I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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