girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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