Your mouth is God's brothel.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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