I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
