I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
God I need to hump something, right now.
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