It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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