Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
