I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
