So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
