I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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