Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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