it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
