So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
