Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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