that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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