I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
