I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
