Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
