I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
