I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
how does that bad decision feel?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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