it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
