Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
