Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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