My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
