He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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