It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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