Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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