They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't think brook has ever known best
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need moral support for this bender
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Still dying that you shit outside
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
