i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
