We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
