The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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