Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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