I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
