I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
