im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am naked and annoyed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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