In the future we'll all be gay
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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