You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
