Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
