Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have aggressive nipples.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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