I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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