He felt like a one man threesome
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
