I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
