People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
