i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
