Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
