Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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