If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
