At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Are we still banned from the library?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
