making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
