he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just crazy horny about you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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