Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
