I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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