This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
